Trees

This is the celebrated photo of aspen trees taken by Ansel Adams in Northern New Mexico in 1958. I once tried to immitate this one
and ended up doing a horrible job.




I went on picturing trees in different shades and moods. I have always thought that tree are the most beautiful things in the world. It however took me quite some time to realize why. Finally, I came up with an ingenious answer:
roots. Their roots are at the root of their beautiful existence. All the animals are like uprooted trees; and, among them, only the human beings are cursed with the intelligence to understand that.

Grothendieck's 18

Alexander Grothendieck, the 'avatar' of 20th century mathematics, in his book, "La Clef des Songes"(1986-1987), discusses 18 men who were, according to him, "Les Mutants", or humans who are far ahead of time. The following is the list of those men along with brief introductions.

1. C. F. S. Hahnemann (1755 – 1843): German doctor and scholar, renewed the medicine of his time.
2. C. Darwin (1809 – 1882): English scientist.
3. W. Whitman (1819 – 1892): American journalist, poet and teacher.
4. B. Riemann (1826 – 1866): German mathematician.
5. Râmakrishna (1836 – 1886): Indian (Hindu) saint.
6. R. M. Bucke (1837 – 1902): American doctor, psychiatrist and scholar.
7. P. A. Kropotkine (1842 – 1921): Russian geographer and scholar; anarchist revolutionary.
8. E. Carpenter (1844 – 1929): Minister, farmer, English thinker and writer.
9. S. Freud (1856 – 1939): Austrian doctor, psychiatrist; creator of Psychoanalysis.
10. R. Steiner (1861 – 1925): German scholar, philosopher, writer, orator, pédagogue ... ; visionary teacher, creator of anthroposophy.
11. M. K. Gandhi (1881 – 1955): Indian advocate and politician; spread the message of 'ahimsa' (non-violence).
    
12. P. Teilhard de Chardin (1881 – 1955): French paleontologist, religious(Christian) thinker, worked for a reconciliation of religion and science.
    
13. A. S. Neill (1883 – 1973): English teacher and educator, who supported an education in liberty.
14. N. Fujii (aka Fujii Guruji) (1885 – 1985): Japanese Buddhist monk.
    
15. J. Krishnamurti (1895 – 1985): Orator, Indian religious thinker and writer.
    
16. M. Legaut (1900 - ...): University teacher, farmer, French Christian religious thinker and writer, pupil of Jesus of Nazareth, worked for a renewal of the spirit of the Christianity.
17. F. Carrasquer (1904 - ...): Spanish public school teacher, educator and militant anarchist.
18. ... Solvic (1923? ... 1945): American worker, who worked apparently without any particular appointment.
    

words of wisdom

• The last thing you want to do in life is invariably the first thing you have to do.
• Life sucks...... like a vacuum cleaner, ......... not like a whore!!
• Hope kills you, but depression doesn't, b'coz dying hope never dies and waits for you to die.
  

Luck

I had always believed that I was lucky. Maybe, I was. But, I don't really remember any instance where luck gave me a boost. You might say, I was lucky not to be crushed by a truck in a street accident. True, things could get far worse, but what I feel is that whatever happened were destined to happen, just the sun rises everyday, and all these were definitely the worst of the things that could possibly happen. I never got what I wanted, whatever I got was the least that I could expect, but still I slowly learnt to be happy with whatever I got, despite my firm belief thats its much less than what I deserve.
This feeling makes me think if there is at all any point in even talking about luck. Is it rational to say, "whatever happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way."?

Why am I ................????

Am I a stranger? I don't know. But, thats what I feel. Maybe, thats what I think the others feel. This is a strange feeling. There were many instances before when I didn't enjoy life, got sick of life. But, this feeling is still new to me. Maybe, there are people who like me or want to be with me, but I either can't find them or maybe I don't like to be with them. I have thought many times if I have taken the right path in life, I think I did. I've always done whatever seemed natural, I never enjoyed tricks, not even in maths. I trust my instincts and use my brains when necessary. I'm very patient, optimistic and usually do not lose hope. Then, why am I depressed? I have no clue. Am I really different from the people around me? I'm a foreigner here and also a foreigner back home since I stay in a foreign country. The point is I'm neither the fun-loving guy who likes to chill out in bars every weekend nor am I the the conservative guy who doesn't like interacting with people from different social background. Even as a child, I had been a stranger to my schoolmates. Some of them wanted to play a lot, others wanted to do very well in exams. I didn't want any, but i did want to acquire more and more knowledge, learn things that my friends didn't know, things that were not (yet) taught in school.
I've always loved the sun, and the moon. They've always been with me. I always felt that one of the most interesting parts of living in this world is that there is full moon every month. Does anybody else not feel like this? Doesn't the sparkling dewdrops on the grasses, the heavenly light of the full moon falling on lonely trees, the flowing of water, the rising sun, the colorful trees, the playful squirrels, the singing of birds, the sweet romantic melodies make everyone feel perpetual happiness? I guess they don't. Maybe, they never feel like me. But, why should they not like me? Maybe, they do like me, but don't want to come close to me. I fail to understand why?
I'm clueless and hopeless. But, without hope, life has no meaning. I don't know what to hope for. Why is the future so unpredictable? Why do people believe in God? Is it something that cowards do, or can one gain wisdom through it? Is it pointless to believe in the Almighty, as it seems through logic? I don't believe in logical reasoning. But, I always reason logically, and I'm good at it. I don't know what I believe in, what my problem is. Maybe, I'm obsessed with myself. But, how do I get rid of this dark slumber?
I don't know where to end. So, I'll stop here, till I find answers to some of my questions.

Quote of the decade

The pessimists are those who think, "It can't get worse." The optimists are those who think it can.